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1. Manage your expectations. 

Talk to an experienced family law attorney before deciding what it is you want in your divorce. The legal reality is often very different from what people imagine in their minds their divorce will look like. What you consider to be “fair” is not what the court will often see as such. For example, even if your spouse cheated on you, that will not mean he or she is not entitled to half of your marital property nor that they won’t have a right to have meaningful custody and visitation with the children.

2. Be patient. Keep your eye on the prize (the prize being a detailed plan for the after-divorce future).  

Some divorces take years to complete because there could be a lot of issues to resolve, from custody, parenting plan and visitations, to complex financial issues of child support, alimony and dividing up joint property. 

3.  No one ever “wins” their divorce case. 

A divorce is a death of a marriage, when you are managing the fallout, there is no winning. A divorce is about managing the various complex issues that the two spouses must work out to officially and legally end the marriage with the state. No one ever ends up with everything they want in a divorce. It’s going to be a series of compromises to get the to the point of receiving a judgment of divorce. At the end, there will be no way to determine a “loser” or a winner. 

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